One thing I can say is that motherhood is a journey, whether you are stay at home mom or a working mom, you go through different seasons of your child growth. Some are exciting and fun, other are overwhelming and can a times me frustrating. When I decided to be a SAHM, I had many expectations, the picture of what it would be like quickly faded away within weeks into the journey.
I remember thinking ‘what on earth did I sign up for’, at some point I felt like I was failing and I wasn’t sure if I made the right decision.
Stay at home moms have their share of doubts atimes, there are days that it feels like you are not delivering what you ought to deliver. And atimes that can be depressing, because you are constantly comparing yourself to the expectation picture you had in your head.
So how do you get out of that zone? How do you stop living in the ‘expectations’ and start living in the present?
I am sharing 5 things that one should consider as they start the journey as a stay at home mom.
1. Celebrate yourself for making that step. I will be honest that I thought there was nothing worth celebrating about being a stay at home mom. It felt like just a normal thing that was expected of me. Yet that is far from the truth, in a world where work and being in high positions is glorified, the decisions to leave all that should be celebrated. You have sacrificed something that at one point meant a lot to you and that by itself is great and you celebrating it is a step and a reminder that the next journey is not a burden.
2. Don’t enter with ‘perfection expectations‘, I remember thinking how I would always be awake before the babies, how my house would always be clean and by the time my husband is back, food will always be ready. This, to be honest happened in the first week, slowly my pile of laundry begun to grow, my sink was always having dirty dishes and there were days my husband would be home to us still in our pajamas. It really frustrated me because it wasn’t what I envisioned my journey as stay at home mom to be. When I stopped living with an expectation, I started living, I started to enjoy my SAHM life, I begun to appreciate myself and just how I was being productive even on days that we slept with sink full of dirty dishes.
3. Allow yourself time to transition
Can we first agree that transitioning to motherhood is never automatic. For you to fully comprehend that you are mom takes month or even years. So is, with being a SAHM. Give yourself time to transition from either being a working mom to SAHM or from being a first time mom to a SAHM, allow yourself to learn and be kind to yourself. Don’t do too much with the desire to be seen as effective.
4. Be willing to let go of stuff you have no control over.
You are just one person, and a times it’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to do everything and even do things that are beyond you. You want to care for the child, cook, clean, play with the child, do laundry, be a wife and still take care of yourself. This can a times be so overwhelming, the best thing I have learnt is that there are days I won’t have control over how clean my house should be and that is totally okay. That way I can end my day not feeling like a failure just because of one thing I wasn’t able to do.
5. Help is not a sign of laziness.
This right here took me a while to accept, for long I believed I needed to do everything by myself, I was just at home anyway. Yet the truth is, just like everyone else we do get tired. So it’s totally normal to seek help, it’s totally okay to sit back and get someone to clean your house for you. You are not lazy for choosing that, matter of fact, you are way wise and mindful of your health and self-care. Asking for help is a way of taking care of yourself, so it is wise to say it’s a form of self-care.
Hope this five tips helps you as you navigate motherhood.
You are amazing mama